Orphan Black fics
by aeojune
Summary: One whole blob of the different fics I have written for OB.
1. Fall Heavy Into Your Arms

FALL HEAVY INTO YOUR ARMS (COPHINE FIC)

_A/N: For __Sabinne__ because I'm trying to redeem myself from this __photoset/ficlet.__COPHINE FEELS HERE but I promise it's a happy ending, potassium? (K?) Title from __I Will Wait__ by Mumford and Sons. Listen to these too. __Fix You__ - Coldplay | __Save You__ - Simple Plan_

**Fall Heavy Into Your Arms**

_I will try to fix you_  
_I wish I could save you my love_  
_But I will wait_

—

She knew it had consequences but she never expected this. She just had Cosima back but somehow their relationship already had a looming deadline above their heads. Her words still rang in her head as they laid on the couch in Felix's loft.

_I'm sick, Delphine._

—

It's been a few months and they still haven't found answers. Cosima stayed strong, even if Delphine knew she wakes up in the middle in the night to grieve for the life given yet soon to be taken away from her. Delphine never said anything, just let her cry her heart out every night, because she knew Cosima needed it.

She grieved too, sometimes, because she was so helpless.

—

It broke her to see the bucket list Cosima had written but never said anything about it either. If this was what she wanted, so be it.

—

Time was never on their side. She said she was sorry, like always, for being late.

—

She didn't know how to keep going anymore. The experiments were not showing any progress and so was Cosima but she didn't let herself stop from searching for answers from everywhere. She had scoured all the books in the libraries, asked and worked with different scientists and doctors to help her with Cosima's case.

She could have given up when they all kept telling her that it was futile, but she didn't.

As impossible as it looked from everyone else's perspective, she had hope.

It was all she clung to those days.

And Cosima.

Sweet, sweet Cosima, with her never fading smile and warm arms that welcome Delphine into refuge and safety after every failure. She was all that kept Delphine sane.

They kept each other whole.

—

More months passed.

Until a year had gone by.

Cosima had told her to give up but she never did.

_I will never do that as long as I breathe, Cos, _she insisted, making Cosima cry in her arms for the first time since that embrace in Felix's loft.

—

They never grieved alone then. Delphine would quietly hold Cosima in her arms in the middle of the night as she cried, as she silently wept as well.

The days found them in the laboratory, doing everything in their power to find the answer they have searched for so long.

Each day they have fallen more and more in love with each other. It came with all that they had gone through, especially this.

—

It was one of those gloomy days where the rain poured endlessly that Delphine froze in her actions, a pen between her lips and papers full of graphs and sketches and formulas in hand. She swore in that moment her heart stopped and the pen fell from her lips to the floor.

_What's wrong? _Cosima asked around the piece of bacon she was chewing.

_We found it, _she whispered, still in disbelief. _We found it, Cos._

—

__It took a few more weeks before the development became more obvious. Day by day life returned to Cosima, even if the light in her smile never went away.

—

The white dress just reached below her knees but she deemed it sufficient enough. She was never that fancy anyway and it was the thought that counted. She waited alone in front of everyone else, eyes on the door, until it opened and revealed Cosima in her own white dress, the smile that had kept stealing her heart all these years on her face.

Cosima looked at her like she was the only person in the world, which reflected just how Delphine felt.

They recited their own vows in shaky voices, their words laden with promises and science jokes. The kiss felt like it was the first they had shared in years: full of love, hope, and trust.

Full of love.

_Until these days of darkness which we've known_  
_Will blow away with this new sun_  
_I'll be there for you_  
_To guide you home_

—

_End._


	2. Pour Some Sugar On Me

POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME (OB FIC)

_A/N: For __Sabinne__. Prompt: Sarah meets Delphine! Title from the song by Def Leppard, because Sarah could use some sweetness and hospitality here. XD Sarah x Delphine "friendship," established Cophine. I own nothing, mistakes are mine._

_Publishing them all now while I have time, which means my __blog__ will probably be full with ficlets from your prompts. Thank you! :D_

**Pour Some Sugar On Me**

Alison was busy that Friday with all the fuss on preparing her new business, a fitness class, which opens Saturday morning. They offered to help but Alison politely declined, saying that they didn't have to give up their weekly movie night for her.

She was adamant about it, really, so it was just Sarah who drove to Cosima's house. She let herself in with the duplicate key she had, bags of take-out in hand.

"Cos?" She called out as she shut the door. She walked straight into the kitchen and put down the take-out bag before shrugging off her leather jacket and hanging it on the back of a chair. "Cos?" She called out again while she took out the boxes from the paper bags and back on the table.

"Cosima's not here," she heard someone say, and from pure reflex Sarah quickly turned around to the sound of the voice, drawing the gun from her body holster. She acquired the weapon from Alison - purely legal - and promised to always only use it for emergency purposes, like this, with an unknown person in her (who she considered to be her) sister's home.

Sarah pointed the gun to the intruder's head and even if she was a good ten feet away, she knew she had a clear shot. The stranger, a tall blonde woman, was frozen in fear, her hand halfway to gripping the door frame. She swallowed visibly and raised both her hands cautiously in surrender. Sarah poised her thumb against the safety.

"Alright, you have two seconds to identify yourself before I blow your head to bits," she said, her voice dangerously low. She narrowed her eyes at the blonde, studying her curiously, but kept her guard. Yes, things have gone pretty low key the past few weeks but she still had her family to protect.

The blonde swallowed once again, her eyes wide, and opened her mouth to speak. "D- Delphine. Delphine Cormier," she mumbled, her throat suddenly dry. She knew that the woman in front of her was a clone, obviously, and based from the clothes and the hair, this was Sarah. That doesn't mean she wasn't terrified of the gun in her hand though. "Cosima just went out to grab some dessert."

Sarah furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, her grip on the gun still firm, before realization dawned on her. "Oh. So _you're _the Delphine Cormier," she murmured, lowering her gun and putting it back to her holster. Her gaze swept down Delphine's form and back up, meeting her eyes. Sarah tilted her head ever so slightly and shrugged before turning back around to continue fixing dinner as if nothing happened. Delphine let out a soft sigh of relief, her body finally relaxing, and took hesitant steps closer to where Sarah stood.

"Can I help?" She offered, lightly resting her hands over the table and looking over the three boxes of take-out that Sarah was transferring to plates. "Cosima won't be back for about five more minutes…" Delphine trailed off as she watched Sarah freeze in her movements and slowly turned to her, a murderous, terrifying look blazing in her hazel eyes.

"Cormier," Sarah began, her voice cold and her eyes hard. She gripped the fork she was holding on her left hand but kept it to herself. "I'm not forgetting the fact that youbetrayed Cosima and inevitably broke her heart that one time but if you do that again, I swear to Jesus bloody Christ I will not only kick your willowy arse but make sure I bury your body somewhere away from a bloody quarry site, where I'm sure no one will find you. Understood?" Even with their obvious height difference, Sarah exuded authority and confidence which made Delphine looked small. All the blonde could do was nod.

"Use your words, Cormier. I don't want to rip the promise off of your throat."

"Oui!" Delphine squeaked. "I - Yes. I promise. I wouldn't do that to Cosima, now that I have a choice on the matter." Delphine followed this with a firm nod.

Sarah cocked her head to the side, her eyes focused on Delphine's as if she was staring into her soul. She studied the nervous woman in front of her for a few more moments before smirking once she heard the opening of the door and hearing Cosima call out. She finished fixing their dinner and once again turned to Delphine with a soft smile. "Good. Because you make her happy." Delphine smiled back, gratitude and sincerity reflected in her eyes.

"Oh hey Sarah, you're here. I see you've met Delphine," Cosima greeted with a grin as she walked into the kitchen. The two other women shared a look, knowing smiles on their faces. "I bought Eskimo pies by the way."


	3. Another Day, Another Breath

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER BREATH (OB FIC)

_A/N: For anon request. Prompt: Delphine meets Alison! Title from Sideways Figure Eights by Tanner Patrick because I can just imagine meeting the family is very hard for Delphine. XD_

_Four more after this and then I'm thinking of writing one where Cophine tells everyone that they're engaged, based from my __And This is How We Begin__ fic. Thoughts?_

_Other fics __here__, including the first where __Sarah meets Delphine__! :)_

**Another Day, Another Breath**

They were bundled up on the couch of Cosima's house reading their own books. It had been a particularly lazy Sunday morning, two days after Delphine met Sarah, and except for catching up for her classes, Cosima had nothing to do.

(Except Delphine, maybe, but last night could have been enough to last for a week.)

Her phone buzzed, signaling a new message, and Cosima bookmarked the page where she was in before grabbing her phone to read it. She chuckled at the text and showed it to Delphine.

_I demand that I meet the Delphine Cormier too. I can't believe that of all the days you'll bring her home will be the only day I can't come over! Dinner later at my house. I demand your attendance. - A x_

Delphine looked at Cosima with furrowed eyebrows. "Alison, I'm guessing?" She murmured. Cosima nodded and kissed her girlfriend on the lips. "Yeah. And we're going tonight." Delphine bit her lip and looked away before nodding. She could do this, right? Sarah had pointed a gun at her and threatened to bury her body yet here she was, alive and kicking. She could definitely handle Alison Hendrix.

Right?

—

Wrong.

When Delphine was faced with Sarah, all she could think was _she's going to kill me, she's going to kill me._ Now that she was faced with Alison, however, all she could think was_ she's going to kill me, slowly, make sure I suffer before I actually die._

(They were in Alison's craft room. It was half an hour before dinner and Cosima, unfortunately for Delphine, volunteered to finish up cooking the chicken penne alfredo.  
(Delphine, at that moment, began doubting Cosima's love for her. Why else would she leave her with her creepy clones?)

Alison walked slowly to the counter as Delphine fidgeted in her seat. It wasn't like she was tied to the damned chair, she just felt like so, with Alison looking at her with the same furious eyes like Sarah's, but _way_ scarier.

She didn't know it was possible.

"Sarah had probably told you this before, but let me just reiterate," Alison said, her voice low and cold, _just like Sarah's_, minus the English accent. She began turning the craft scissor canister on the counter and Delphine focused on the different colors of them just to calm herself down.

(Seriously, what was wrong with these people?)

"We haven't forgotten about the fact that you betrayed Cosima, and by extension, us as well," Alison continued. She picked up a scissor with a pink handle and turned to Delphine as she examined it on her hands. "Sarah may have scared you with something like kicking your ass and burying you somewhere…" Alison trailed off and looked up, immediately locking eyes with Delphine's wide ones.

(How did she even know Sarah told her that? Clone telepathy?)

"But not me." Alison began walking around the chair Delphine was in, making the blonde swallow in fear. "Cosima is like a sister to me now, and if you hurt her, I'll make sure to kill you slowly, make sure you suffer before you die."

(Oh mon Dieu, why did she even think of that earlier? What if Alison could read minds and have weird clone powers?)

"She loves you, you know that?" Alison continued, her voice growing softer. She walked back to the counter and returned the pair of scissors. "You make her happy and I can see in your eyes that you love her too. Just make sure neither of you gets hurt. Or I will cut someone. Yes?"

Delphine nodded frantically. "Yes. Yes, oui. I'm not going to hurt Cosima. I promise."

(She had learned her lesson before. There was no way she'd want Alison rip the words off her throat.)

Alison smiled warmly at Delphine at this and let out a relieved breath as she clapped once. "Well, now that we got that out of the way, let's go. Dinner should be ready by now."

With that Alison walked out of the craft room, leaving Delphine with her chest heaving from her racing heart.

(Cosima assured her before, during, and after dinner that she will never let Sarah nor Alison hurt Delphine.  
(Delphine on the other hand said that they won't, because she had no plans on hurting Cosima intentionally.)

(Sarah got sick of their cheesiness during dinner and threw them a piece of pasta, which got stuck inside Delphine's shirt.  
(Cosima and Delphine spent longer than was necessary cleaning up the mess in the bathroom. Good thing Sarah had her iPod and headphones with her, Alison had earplugs, and Donnie and the kids were with their neighbors.)

(Cosima assured Delphine once again that she loves her, and that just because she left her alone with her clones—her family, rather, doesn't mean she loved Delphine any less.

(Sarah and Alison just wanted to scare people, since they've been scared shitless of Helena before.  
(It was a cycle of life, they reasoned.)


	4. It All Goes Back to the First Kiss

IT ALL GOES BACK TO THE FIRST KISS

_A/N: For __tatasmaslany__. Prompt: A soccer cop one where it's Alison's bday and she thinks Beth forgot but obvs she didn't. Title from Bruised and Scarred by Mayday Parade because it describes this ship but I promise this ficlet is free of pain. Hopefully._

_Because this ship is painful. Really, really painful. But since I've done the __angstbefore__ it's time for the fluff! This one's rushed though so I'll make a better one soon!_

_Established soccer cop. I own nothing, mistakes are mine. More ficlets and stuff__here__. Thank you and I hope you like it. XD_

_P.S. For the anon asking for the Cophine lap dance, I'm working on it! Please don't think I'm ignoring you because I've been posting fills now. :) And to the other requesters, I'll be leaving for a while so I'll work on your requests when I get back! XD_

**It All Goes Back to the First Kiss**

"I can't meet with you today, Ali," Beth said to the phone with a sigh. She shuffled documents on her table just to make Alison hear that she was working.

(Not.)

Alison sighed as well, slightly disappointed that she won't be able to see Beth on her own birthday. How unlucky could she get? Even more unluckier, because apparently Beth has all but forgotten it was her birthday. "Yeah, I understand Bee. I'm sorry for bothering you."

Beth frowned at the sigh and obvious letdown in Alison's voice. "Ali, you're not bothering me. I'm just really busy right now. We're working on a case and chief's already bugging us," she reasoned.

(Not.)

"Oh, okay," Alison murmured as she fiddled with the hem of her shirt like a nervous little girl. "Tomorrow then?"

Beth bit her lip and looked at her watch. It was two in the afternoon and in another hour she'll be out to fix things. "Will you be free tonight?" She asked hesitantly. She knew Alison still had her family and she still had Paul but she could hope. It was Alison's birthday and it was her first birthday with Beth and she wanted to make it special, even just for a while.

"I can sneak out for an hour," Alison murmured, already thinking of a reason to leave later. A part of her hoped that maybe Beth was planning a surprise but she dismissed it immediately - they were in secret and organizing parties take much effort, and she didn't think Beth had time could do such. She loved her job to just go cutting off her hours for her.

(That didn't mean Alison couldn't hope.)

"I'll meet you at seven at the parking lot then?" Beth asked, her voice above a whisper. After this confirmation, she'll be up and running.

"Seven."

—

Beth arrived ten minutes before seven to set up the picnic she prepared. The calls were done, the dishes were warm, the cityscape was in all its glory and all that she had to wait for was Alison.

She heard the familiar crunch of tires against the pavement and Beth got up. Her car was large enough to hide the small picnic area she set up so she grabbed the small bouquet of flowers from her passenger's seat and ran to Alison's car, hiding the flowers on her back. She stood in front of the automobile with a smile as Alison got out.

"What's got you all smiling?" Alison asked, the same smile on her face.

"You," Beth whispered and stepped forward. "And no, I didn't forget." She handed Alison the small bouquet of white primroses and red tulips. "Happy birthday, Ali."

Alison's jaw dropped open at the sight of the simple arrangement of flowers. Personally, she thought that roses were overrated and she just knew that this certain selection meant something. Her eyes darted back and forth the flowers and Beth's face until the cop just laughed, shook her head and pulled Alison by the waist into a warm embrace.

"You dork," Alison mumbled and wrapped her arms around Beth's neck.

"Yeah but I'm your dork," Beth shot back, before pulling away to peck Alison's lips. "I missed you. But since I know our time is limited…" (Both of them smiled sadly at the reminder. Beth mentally kicked herself, but well, it was true). The cop shrugged. "Come on, birthday girl."

Beth pulled Alison to the picnic set up. The sight of it made the latter tear up and the former smile proudly. "Nothing fancy, just thought I'd make it… Slightly memorable." Beth took Alison's coat, folded it neatly, and placed it near the picnic basket. "Come on, we're going to miss the show."

Alison looked confused but let herself be pulled down. Beth had her sit between her legs, her back to her front, and as soon as the cop wrapped her arms around Alison's waist, as if on cue, the car radio began playing Hands to Heaven and the first spark of the fireworks began.

"Happy birthday, Alison. I love you," Beth whispered against her ear. Alison placed her arms over Beth's on her waist and pulled her closer. Bright, beautiful explosions colored the night sky but Alison chose to ignore them in favor of kissing Beth in gratitude, in appreciation.

With love. In love.

"I love you too. I thought you forgot," Alison murmured against her lips.

"I'll never forget, Ali," Beth said with a small smile.

(Later on, Alison found out what the flowers meant: primrose, eternal; red tulip, undying love).


	5. Off Her Mind, Until The Night 1o2

OFF HER MIND, UNTIL THE NIGHT (SOCCER COP MINI-FIC)

_A/N: Somehow I got into soccer cop, and now I can't get this off my head so I have to write it. Coincides somehow with canon, so trigger warning for implied suicide? Please don't hate me. All mistakes are mine. Title from "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley ft. Alison Krauss._

_I don't know if somebody had written about this but meh._

_Sequel here: _Whiskey on Her Breath

__**Off Her Mind, Until The Night**

They were sitting on the hood of Alison's car in the abandoned parking lot where they always meet. It had been something that they have done as of late; meet-up in places far away from the public eye in fear of whatever other people might think - that their relationship was unacceptable because they were both women. Or worse, they would think it was incestuous, because they did look the same, despite all the differences in their personalities and attitude.

And somehow, Beth had gotten sick of it. Nights have passed where she laid in bed with Paul and she cursed those who made them. Even if she was always thankful that they met because of it, she always wondered if things would have been a little easier if they weren't genetic identicals of each other. There were always doubts but they have been strong these past few months.

But it wasn't always enough and it had been bothering Beth. Especially that night, amidst the silence enveloping them, which used to be comfortable until they realized that they probably would amount to nothing in this place.

"Run away with me," she said, breaking the lull around them. She kept her gaze on the cityscape in front of them, her hands fiddling with the hem of her skirt. Alison had never turned her head so fast that one time.

"What?" She asked, a small teasing smile playing on her face, thinking that it was one of Beth's jokes again.

Beth turned to Alison slowly, her eyes full of sincerity and her lips quirked up ever so slightly into a sad smile. "Run away with me," she repeated, her voice a little louder but a less confident. "Away from here, Ali. "

The smile fell from Alison's face as she studied Beth's, and her heart fell down the ground as well when she noticed the plea in Beth's eyes and voice. She crossed her arms defensively across her chest and straightened herself. "You know we can't do that, Bee," she whispered, looking away from Beth.

A disbelieving scoff escaped Beth's lips as her eyes watered with the tears she had always tried to keep away. She was a cop, for god's sake. She had seen more disgusting, morbid, bloody things and she was supposed to be the strong one in their relationship, but somehow Alison got to strip away all the courage in her body, leaving only a vulnerable person too fragile for anything else other than their usual hugs and kisses. "We can't, or you won't?"

"I - "Alison ran her hand across her face before sighing heavily. "Both, Bee." She got up from the hood of her car to stand in front of Beth. She took her hand in hers, ever so gently, which made the dam break, making the well-kept tears fall down from the detective's eyes.

"Hey, stop," Alison cooed, wiping away Beth's tears with her right thumb. Beth tried to swallow back the tears like she always had before during emotional moments like this but this time they flowed down into steady streams. Beth looked up at Alison, her eyes shining, as she waited for an answer. Alison's heart broke at the sight of the hopefulness in her eyes. Cupping her face, she pulled Beth up and closer to her into a warm embrace. "We can't, Bee. You have Paul and I have Donnie and my children. We can't just leave them," she reasoned, her voice soft.

Strong arms wrapped around Alison's waist as Beth pulled her even closer. Her mind reeled with thoughts but none of them seemed to be sufficient a response for the ever-logical Alison Hendrix. Beth knew she would never leave her children - Donnie, most probably, but not her children - but she could at least try being selfish for once. She had been broken when she realized that Paul would never love her back, even if he didn't want to leave either, but Alison was there to fix her and fix her she had. It's not that what she was feeling was pure gratitude because somehow, during the months when Alison helped her through, she had fallen for her, even harder than she did with Paul.

It scared her.

Until that night, in this same parking lot, where they were laughing at Beth's story about dipshit Art, that Alison abruptly stopped laughing and kissed her on the lips. Alison even apologized profusely for it, not even listening to Beth's reassurances that it was alright, not shutting up until Beth kissed her again. That begun their secret relationship and it had been long enough that silence never threatened them.

"I love you," Beth murmured against Alison's ear, sending chills along her spine. The first time Beth ever said those words, she had feared that Alison wouldn't say them back, but her fear was quelled with a searing kiss and endless strings of I love you toos that she never expected.

This night though, Alison's only response was to hug her tighter and it broke Beth's heart. Maybe Alison loved her, but not enough to give up the comfortable life she had with her family. Life with Paul was getting better since she had stopped trying to make him fall for her but it still didn't compare to what she felt with Alison, and she wanted it permanently.

But it seemed Alison didn't. With a heavy sigh Beth pulled away and fixed her blazer. "Just think about it, Ali," she whispered, avoiding her gaze. Alison watched her get her bag from the passenger's seat. Beth was on her first step from walking away before she remembered how to move.

"Beth, wait," she called out, running after her. She grabbed her by the wrist and turned her around. "Where are you going?"

The cop wiped her tears away and put up a brave little smile for Alison. "I'm giving you time to think." With that Beth pulled her hand from her and walked away, stopping briefly to say her last words.

"I'll wait for you every night at seven at the train station, Ali."

And she waited. And waited. Until she had long enough to know, believe, and understand that Alison was never going to come.


	6. Whiskey on Her Breath 2o2

WHISKEY ON HER BREATH (SOCCER COP MINI-FIC)

_A/N: Sequel to _Off Her Mind, Until The Night _mini-fic. Spoilers for episode two: Instinct. Post-Beth suicide. All mistakes are mine. Title from "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley ft. Alison Krauss._

_P.S. I don't understand what Sarah said in a certain part so I just cut it. If someone knows, message me please. Thanks! :)_

**The Whiskey on Her Breath**

It had exactly been 43 days since she saw Beth and it was killing knew she should've ran after Beth when she walked away. She shouldn't have even _let_ her walk away in the first place because she didn't have to think about it. She was - _is_ - in love with Elizabeth Childs and she knew that but somehow, running away with her seemed far too preposterous, especially in her situation.

Beth had a boyfriend and she had a family: a loving husband and two kids.

Except for the fact that Alison was actually cheating on her husband with a woman - and her _genetic identical_, for god's sake - she was the perfect wife. She cooked, cleaned, was good with the neighbors, hosted house parties well, and took great care of her husband and children. She was content with that life until she met Beth and she was introduced to a whole new level of happiness that only the cop could provide.

But it was never enough. Try as she might, there was a reality to face and she was terrified of what the world would think of them if they dared run away and be open in the public. She loved Beth, yes; but she also had fears and doubts of her own.

Forty-three days and she hadn't contacted Beth. The cop tried to call her many times and left a handful of voice and text messages which were mostly deleted without even having the chance to be heard or read, because Alison knew they were pleas of giving Beth a chance and Alison hearing those would break the resolve she worked so hard to maintain.

She drove quietly to the soccer field, with her two kids playing on the backseat. She had been doing a fairly good job lately even with the troubles on her mind but she knew that she had to snap out of it soon. Teaching and guiding the kids to play soccer kind of helped her lift her head off of things but once she was in her solitude, the thoughts came back with a vengeance.

Of Beth walking away into the darkness of that parking lot, tears streaming down her face, as she so selflessly gave Alison the time to think.

Her other phone rang and she walked to the side of the field to speak to Cosima, reminding her of that clone thing again. It was bothering, really, that there were actually more than three of them now. They kept their relationship even from Cosima, afraid of what the woman would think, because she was their clone too.

She excused herself from the field to the small room on the field to start slicing the oranges for the children's break later. It was also an excuse to leave her to her thoughts - not that anyone else knew anyway. She had finished a few fruits before she had to get out to settle a little fight that broke out from the kids outside.

Upon her return, a shocked gasp let out her lips when she saw Beth - or not Beth - in front of her.

"I just want some answers," the woman in front of her assured, raising her hand in defense. _Not Beth_, she confirmed. Alison released a frustrated breath and walked closer to the woman.

"Are you out of your mind?" She pushed the woman by the shoulder against the wall. Really, how can someone be so careless? One thing was to actually have unknown twins but clones are outrageous. "How dare you show your face in front of my children?" The very least consolation was that the woman at least look a little scared. Alison took a shaky breath to calm herself down. She had been here before, with Beth, and it hadn't been pretty - although they had forgiven each other for that. "How did you find me?"

The woman swatted her hand away. At least she had some spine. "I- I've got what you wanted. I got the briefcase."

Alison scoffed at this. "Idiot. Do you even know who you're talking to? Hm?" She raised her hand to her ear, a nervous gesture she had somehow developed. Yes, she basically saw an image of Beth every time she looked in the mirror, but seeing someone who looked just like her in the flesh just terrified and tore Alison apart.

She missed Beth, to be honest.

The shock and confusion on the clone's face was evident and that was when Alison went for the kill. "Where is Beth?" She asked, her voice just above a whisper. It had been too long since she said her name out loud and hearing her own voice say it was both oddly scary and soothing at the same time.

She briefly remembered the time when they teased each other with endless nicknames until they just settled with Ali and Bee.

"Uh.. She's dead," the clone replied, a slight questioning on her tone but a hint of fear in her eyes.

The words barely registered in Alison's mind but she heard them perfectly clear. Her jaw dropped open slightly but she instantly recovered, only slightly wobbling on her feet, but her heart and stomach crashed on the floor at her clone's words.

"What?" She asked, blinking a few times as if that would wake her up. She blindly reached for the knife on her left, her eyes trained on the woman in front of her.

"I'm sorry. She killed herself," the woman replied, now truly scared of Alison and the weapon she held on her hand. Alison pulled the knife as she turned, almost slicing through the clone's stomach if she hadn't moved.

"No," Alison drawled, still in disbelief. She was keeping a calm façade because she needed to, but her heart was racing and breaking at the possibility that Beth was gone.

She was gone. _She killed herself._

"Nope. No. She wouldn't do that. That's impossible," Alison said, more to herself, as she waved the knife around.

"No - I'm sorry. I saw her do it," the woman explained, taking a step forward. Alison let out a long, calming breath as she held the knife in her hands, studying it.

"No, that can't be," she breathed out, shaking her head. Her mind was reeling with thoughts and images of Beth waiting on the train station each night at seven for the last few months, waiting for Alison's arrival.

"Look, I can explain. Okay? My name's Sarah - "

Alison cut her off by turning around and waving the knife in front of her, effectively shutting up the clone - Sarah - and making her take a step back. "No, I don't care who you are," she said, her voice now shaky as panic began seeping in, fear and guilt and regret building from the pit of her stomach and threatened to make her chest cave in. She let out another long breath to pull herself together. She would not break down and show weakness in front of this woman, not now.

"Why lord? Why me? I never wanted any part of this. Do I wear a huge 'kick me' sign on my back?" She said her back turned to Sarah. She can't look at her right now, not when reminded herself so much of Beth. God, her _own _reflection reminded her of Beth. The tears were already brimming on her eyes. _No, no. Just a little more, _she begged herself.

"Please, just tell me who are we to each other," Sarah spoke again.

Alison turned to her, her eyes filled with disbelief and a little fury. How dare this woman talk about herself when Beth - oh god, _Beth_ killed herself? "Are you kidding me?" She shook her head. "I'm not doing that. That is not my responsibility." She took a sharp breath and went back to the small table on the room where she prepared the oranges for the children. She need Sarah gone quick. "You need to get out of here," she said with as much authority as she can in the midst of her thundering emotions as she put the oranges on the container and put the lid on. "Go and wait for a call," she added as she walked to the door.

Sarah pulled Alison's hand, stopping her from going another step. "Hey, tell me what -"

"Let go. Don't touch me," Alison snapped, quickly moving away. She suddenly remembered the last night she saw Beth, how she stopped her from going. She moved her shoulders back to try to exude a little more confidence because _this _alone was enough to crush her. Too many things reminded her of Beth right now. "This is my neighborhood," she said, pointing a finger to Sarah, trying to appear brave even though her voice was wavering. "You wait for a call." With that, she walked away.

"Oh, and hide your ugly face on the way out of here," she added, looking at the dumbfounded Sarah. She opened the door and walked out, breathing in deeply to recollect her thoughts. She'll have time to herself later.

—

Cosima wanted to meet up with Sarah in her own home so her grieving time was limited. She let herself nurse a few shots of whiskey before proceeding to cut up coupons for her shopping.

She still refused to believe that Beth was gone.

—

A few hours after Sarah, her gay friend - or brother - and Cosima left found Alison quietly sobbing against the door of her craft room, an empty bottle of whiskey cradled on her arms. She finally pieced things together: Beth's suicide, the train station, the unread texts and deleted voice messages, 43 days. She whispered _I'm sorry_s and _I love you_s over and over into the silence of the night, praying Beth would hear her, wherever she was. For once she was thankful that Donnie was a heavy sleeper.

There was one voice message that she somehow forgot to delete, dated a day after she was dared to run away. It was the only thing that she had of Beth right now.

_Hi Ali. I'll be waiting. I love you. _


End file.
